Are you walking in the FULLness of God?

Ever since I have been able to remember, I have been called the fat kid. It hurt a little at first but when I learned to deal with it, it wasn't a big deal to me anymore. So for many years I was comfortable being me until my junior year in High School. Somehow I got hooked up with the wrong guy that done absolutely nothing but drag me through the mud. My feelings didn't matter, he called me every name you can ever think of including fat. I was physically, mentally, and emotionally abused but hey that's what real relationships are about right? The answer is absolutely NOT! See I thought that it was though. With that being my first real relationship, I thought that even though he done these things to me, he said he loved me and that made everything better. Four years passed and 2 children later, I finally realized that this was not acceptable. I knew that I had to get out and make a better life for my children and me.
Being in that relationship changed who I was as a person. I didn't feel pretty, I felt used in every sense of the meaning, I didn't have any self esteem left, and I didn't feel that I was worthy of someone else loving me. As days went on, more and more insecurities were experienced. Why didn't I listen to my friends and family when they told me to get out years before. Why did I allow this one person to make me feel so low and how was I ever going to recover from this?
I look back and though I still don't have the answers to these question, I find that after going through those terrible years, I have never been able to recover. If anything I have so many insecurities now but its a direct effect of that situation. See I feel that I have to try super hard to build friendships, that I have to make everyone else happy before myself because what if I don't and I loose that relationship? I have to be the best at everything I do because I have been criticized so much before, how can I withstand any more?

Four months ago I gave my life to the lord again. I have never felt more complete in my entire life! I spread the word of God to everyone that I can because that is what makes it all worth while. I fill everyone's Facebook feed with Christian jargon because though I help some people out with the things I post, I also go back and keep it as a reminder of how far I have come in my own life. I am a very different person today than I used to be. I was so full of negativeness, gossiped.. boy did I gossip, I allowed the distance of friendships to affect me, food was again my best friend, I was very outspoken and not the type that you want to be remembered for, and just wasn't living a life that I was proud of.
 Tonight I asked myself why or how I ever got to be this negative person. I mean I had friends, I had a great boyfriend, kids, and was living pretty good and then I heard something that took my breath away. Satan will feed on my insecurities to make them apparent to me each and every day. The things that I thought were okay were definitely not, but that was his way of getting into my mind and throwing it in my face
The greatest thing about living a life full of Christ is that you don't have to deal with things on your own. You can put 100% of trust in one person and know that they will always be faithful. You never have to feel unworthy because no amount of sin will make God look at you different. No sin is greater nor lesser than another, so everyone is equal in the eyes of the Lord. You are forgiven and made new by the blood Jesus shed for you and me. Yes its amazing that one man died for the life of so many others.
I have battles that are not yet victories but I know that with God on my side, everything is truly possible. God calls us to demolish fears and evil that stares us in the face and that is exactly what I am doing. Day by day I am overcoming another obstacle. I'm growing and being molded into the person that God created me to be. God has a purpose for me but it wasn't until I began to live a life full of him that I knew what that purpose was. Everyday I walk in the fullness of God and its pretty darn incredible. I challenge you to do the same!

Who are you trusting now-a-days?

So the past few weeks I've felt a little distant to the world. With going back to college my focus has been solely on making an amazing gpa by face planting in my studies every night, and what little time I have left, dividing it between one-on-one time with my kids and husband. This morning I woke up and realized just how distant I've become. I make conversations with friends short, I get through everyone else's needs super quick so that I can focus on my studies, and I've not been as devoted to God like I should be. See the crazy thing is, I went back to school because I knew God was telling me to do more, yet I find myself not as devoted?
 While trying to fall back asleep after doing my early morning motherly duties, it hit me. Heather, God sent to back to school to make a difference, but how are you showing him any glory by doing so? You're not spreading his greatness, you're putting lesser things before more important things, you're time away from outside relationships isn't cutting it and you've got to set boundaries. Another thing that I've noticed is I'm not spreading the word of God to everyone around me as much as I was. I felt like being positive in front of people was having more of a negative impact than an actual positive one. I mean I flood my Facebook and instagram with inspirational things, but I feel like I'm getting on everyone's nerves, and that they're just sick of seeing it. But then again it hit me like a ton of bricks. If I loose 20 "friends" over being positive and putting God in the lime light, but bring one person closer to him, then why should I care what others think? I mean that's what being a Christian is right? Showing how God has changed your life, bring people closer to him, and then figuring out how you can bring him glory?
  See it took me missing a Sunday sermon, a chance to serve our community, and a life group to really notice my short comings. How being more concerned about making good grades by myself, rather than trusting that the one that positioned me to this place, isn't really working out for me and that I don't carry the weight of the world on my shoulders; someone actually does that for me.
 If I continue my obedience and ask for direction, God will provide a way to make things happen. It's easy to get caught up with things you feel are important, to fall back and think you have to control the outcome of situations, and to think you have to be a super hero to get daily tasks done, but you don't. Our heavenly father is here to take our disbelief away, to be our weight carrier, and to be the one who will bring us through even the toughest of situations. God doesn't put things in your life to make you struggle without cause. Trust that whatever may come your way, that God's plan and purpose is above all things and if he can bring you to a situation, not only will he bring you through it but it's for a reason. Trust and have faith.. God will lead the way!!

There is Nothing Common about Revolution Church

Acts 20:24  
²⁴However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me-the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.

2 Corinthians 4:12-16 )
¹²So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you. ¹³It is written: "I believed; therefore I have spoken."With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, ¹⁴because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. ¹⁵All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. ¹⁶Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

First thing is first. Let me just say, How amazing was church this morning?? More people than I have EVER seen at Revolution without it being Baptism Sunday!! God is SOOO good!

 This morning I woke up, after only having 3 hours of sleep, and went to church like I do every Sunday. God knows I love going to church but there was just something about today that seemed a little different. From the moment I pulled in the parking lot and saw the greeters, I just had the biggest smile on my face. I walked in the front doors and saw everyone and my heart was just so full of joy. As I walk through the other set of doors, there again, another super big smile and unlike normal I stopped and talked to almost everyone before taking my seat in the gym.
 First song of Worship: I was already in tears. Not shameful tears but tears that expressed how much my heart was full of Jesus and how thankful I am that one man died for me that didn't even know me.

Second song of Worship: I just wanted to go pull the preachers wife aside and just cry to someone tears of happiness and thankfulness. How can a heart be so full and overwhelmed with greatness? I have never felt so full of life and passion and wanting to seek the Lord more than I already do. I mean why cant I just get enough?

Sermon: Let me first say that God had blessed Richard Myers with the words that grab everyone's attention, if not in the beginning then definitely at the end! Today was all about Grace. Showing Grace to those who may not deserve it to us, but do in God's eyes. I learned that who I am to cast shame on someone, when I'm not perfect by no means? Everyone sins daily, so why ridicule someone else for doing the same? Sin is equal, no sin is greater than another! I sat back and I realized that showing Grace isn't condemning nor condoning someone. While you are pointing the finger at a guilty party, they may be praying for you not to do just that. God forgives everyday. We are saved every single day by the loving and amazing Grace that God provides to each of us. So I challenge you to not embarrass a guilty person this week. Don't point out the flaws of someone unless you can say you have no flaws yourself. Instead show Grace! Where would we all be in God didn't do that for us?

Every Sunday after service I love getting on Facebook and Twitter to see how God has spoke to everyone. If you are a friend with a member of someone from Revolution Church you will see a post every single Sunday, we are just contagious. This church is nothing short of amazing. It serves a community that a lot of churches shy away from. Instead of investing in a huge church, we invest in kids and our community. Its the littlest churches that can do the biggest things. Just look at where Revolution started and where it is now. This morning we had to pull out office chairs to seat every one and there were people still sitting in the floor. In the course of 3 weeks 11 people have given their life to Christ and 8 people are getting baptized this August 11th. I don't know about you but to me that is a HUGE deal! God is working and moving this church and though we don't have the finer things, we have an amazing Preacher, First Lady, staff, volunteers, and members and a place that we can call ours every Sunday and Wednesday. Who needs the biggest church to spread the word of God when God walked this earth without a huge tabernacle to teach in!!

God is amazing and its by his Grace, that we are all saved <3

Romans 12:4-5
For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.

Acts 22:16
And now why do you wait? Rise and be baptized and wash away your sins, calling on his name. 

Struggle and Surrender of a Praying Wife

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

⁴ Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud ⁵ or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. ⁶ It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. ⁷ Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

 I absolutely love the above bible verse so much that it was read at my own wedding but sometimes I find myself struggling with verse 7: Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

 
 I have been married for going on 3 years. We have had our fair share of ups and down (more ups than down) and for a long time I wondered, "how do I not give up on my marriage when there is more wrong than right?" " How do I not lose faith that things will turn around?" "How do I stay hopeful, when I feel hopeless?" "If love really endures through every circumstance, why do I feel empty?" Every fight we had I would ask these questions and it wasn't until I accepted Jesus Christ again in my life that I realized that the questions I asked myself before are easily being answered right before my eyes in a positive way.
 
For a while now I have been attending church as much as 4 days a week and I see myself growing so much. I have an intimate walk with God and the things I didn't think were possible, are now possible. I'm not easy to anger, I don't fight about a lot of things that I used too, I wont keep an argument going, I apologize whether I am right or wrong, and I never allow a negative event carry over to the next day. My heart feels so full every single day. I have more passion about things, I am excited to get up at 9am every Sunday morning, love attending our food ministry every Wednesday, and I even try to take on more that what I can actually handle. I serve god every opportunity that I get and I realized that in doing so its taken a little bit of a toll on my marriage but as quick as I realized the negative, I remembered that as long as I serve god, he will handle everything else and he is doing just that.

I attend church every Sunday by myself and every volunteer event by myself. I have come to realize that by me changing, my husband will be soon to follow. Though I strive every week to get him involved, if I cover him with my naggingness and begging he will never change. I prayed every night that God just touch my husband and allow him to see the good and not the bad. To notice that I am changing and want to be like that. To realize that I have overcome so many things and want that for himself. 
 Well I set back and I allowed God to put his hands on my husband and man has it really worked. I think that I see the changes in him and he doesn't even realize that he's doing anything any different. He is interested in how sermons are every Sunday. He's allowing me to be more involved and helping me to do so. He isn't easily angered anymore, and when he becomes angry he actually apologizes.
 So though I would love him to lead our family, I am okay being in that role right now. If I submit to my husband and I allow God to use my actions and just allow God himself to work on my husband, I know that we will get to that point where I can get off my knees and he can get on his.

People always say that the first five years of marriage are the hardest but I believe that marriage is always going to be hard unless you have God as your leader and you allow him to take over. God is stepping in, and its evident that what people say, isn't always the truth. Our first 2 years and 11 months were the hardest, the rest is all up to God but I believe it will be a walk in the park. The power of prayer is unbelievable and it isn't until you start seeking God, that all things are truly possible!

"God,

Thank you for your unconditional love for me.  I am so undeserving, yet you pursue me daily!  Thank you for your grace and for your perfect provision.  I am so blessed and grateful for my life and for my husband’s life.   Thank for trusting us with each other’s hearts, blessing us with the covenant of marriage. You have given us an opportunity to love each other unconditionally and sometimes that is hard to do, but I ask Lord that you would help us to love like you love.  Please show me how to be a joyful wife, a compassionate wife, a humble wife, and a truly forgiving wife. I pray for wisdom. I pray that you would equip both my husband and I with whatever we are lacking so that we may bless each other and be a beautiful example of a healthy marriage to other couples. Help me to understand that my expectations for my husband may never be met, that he is human and capable of sin.  Give me a discerning spirit and the courage to speak truth into my husband’s life, which will encourage him.  Keep words of disappointment and regret, lies from the enemy, far from me. Lord, if my husband is struggling with anything, please remove it from him.  Heal my husband and give him a strong desire to seek after you.  I pray that he is the spiritual leader of our family that you have called him to be.  May your characteristics manifest in him as he grows in his relationship with you. God I ask that you would protect our marriage, keeping Satan and his ways far from our family.  Holy Spirit walk with my husband today, call out his name and reveal yourself to him.  I pray that our love for each other continues to grow deeper and deeper everyday.  Please grant us time to spend intimately with one another, and especially time and desire to pray with and over one another! I pray for restoration in our marriage!  May you be at the center of our marriage FOREVER and EVER!  Reigning in our hearts, motivating our love and guiding our actions! In Jesus Name AMEN!"

Welcome :)

I have finally completed my blog and its up and running!!
The reason I created this blog is to not only vent but hoping that through my thoughts and advice, I can touch one person and make them closer to our eternal father. I hope you stay tuned for what's to come. I know I am very excited! :)